Blasphemy Abstinence
by Lamech
Summary: Can Tasuki keep from cursing for 24 hours?


Fushigi Yugi was created and is owned by Watase Yuu. I'm over here jamming to H2So4.

Special Note: This is my first attempt at writing a pure humor story. I, for the most part, write Horror or Dark Fiction. I would like to know what you think. Should I stick to horror or did you enjoy this? Domo arigato gozaimasu.

ONE MORE THING!- This story is a two parter. Ok, you can go on and start reading. 

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BLASPHEMY ABSTINENCE

or

(_"What the hell? What do you mean I can't swear?!"_)

Tasuki found himself hitting the dirt for the fourth time in the last hour. He looked up to see a large, burly man standing at the thresh hold of the inn that he was in only a few seconds ago. The young man could not understand it. He was just having a nice conversation and suddenly the place erupted only for him to be thrown out once more. 

He was confused and hurt. And when this happened his temper flared. "Oh, yeah," he hissed at the burly man, "Well, who the fuck would want to stay in your rat house of an inn anyway? Shit." 

The burly man only responded with a shake from his head. He disappeared back into the doorway. Suddenly Nuriko and the others poured out of the inn with sour faces. "Tasuki!" he moaned as he helped the redhead to his feet, "This is getting tiresome!"

"I know, I know," the young man groaned back, "The people in this village are such pains in the ass. Sheesh, it's like they've never seen strangers before." He dusted himself off and yelled back into the doorway, "You people should light the fuck up."

Chichiri placed his hand on the young man's shoulder, which made Tasuki settle down instantly. "It's not them, you know."

"Wha-wha do yah mean?" 

Folding his arms and taking a firm stand Nuriko spoke, "It's that blasted mouth of yours!" A vein began to throb at his temple. He held in every impulse to throttle the bandit back. The action was not that hard thanks to his dual nature. Nuriko found that having a gentler feminine side came in use when he had to keep his temper in check. Especially when it came to handing situations with his less than courteous friends. Still his mouth made up for what his fists were lacking. "That mouth keeps on getting us in trouble, idiot!"

"Huh?" the redhead said as he felt his shirt being tugged. He looked down to see Chiriko giving him a deadpan stare. 

"You curse too much, Tasuki," the boy said. "The people in this village are very proper and religious. Didn't you realize the number of temples and shrines in this place? This is a very holy place and should be treated as much."

"In other words," Tamahome interrupted as he knocked the young redhead on the top of the head, "Put a lid on that tongue of yours otherwise the people are going to run us out of this town."

The young redhead stepped back with shocked. He never thought he had cursed that much. Sure he had lived most of his life around people that would put drunken sailors to shame when it came to swearing. But him? He thought of himself as tame. Practically a monk by his standards. He looked at Miaka with sad eyes, "And what do you think? Do you agree with them as well?"

"Welllllll," she began as her scratched the back of the neck. She suddenly pointed at the sky; "Look it's Superman!" When the young man looked up the girl ducked behind Tamahome. 

The girl's boyfriend smiled, "Chicken."

Miaka's stomach growled at the mere mention of food, "Don't say chicken. I'm so hungry." She poked her head around Tamahome's torso. "Tasuki, please be civil. If you don't we are going to have wait until the next town to eat and I'm starving."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Even Miaka thought he was some foul mouth slob. Out of all the people in the group who would have showed a little sympathy for him he thought for sure it would have been her. Instead he found himself alone in the fight. Slowly dropping to his knees the young bandit sulked. "Geez, it's nice to know who your friends are." He buried his head into his arms looking like a sad little child.

Guilt swept the others. They looked at each other and sighed. Miaka placed a hand on the man's head. "Tasuki, don't be that way. It's not you-."

"Actually," Nuriko broke in, "It is him and…" His voice trailed off when he realized everyone was giving him a dirty look. He closed his mouth and took two steps back. 

Mitsukake took his place. "Tasuki, listen here," he said in a smooth soft voice. He dropped to his knees and looked the young man square in the eye. "We are not asking you to change completely for us. Just be civil for the time we are in this town."

"Which should be around twenty-four hours!" chimed Miaka as she produced a watch. Everyone leaned in to take a look at the girl's timepiece. The watch was powder blue with a yellow chick painted on the face. The words "piyo, piyo" were written above the animal showing what the chick would have said if it were real. She turned the face over to give the redhead the best view, "See, when this small hand does a full circle twice then it will be twenty-four hours and then you can resume your cursing. So, what do you say?"

All eyes were on Tasuki who was still sulking. He had his arms tightly folded across his chest and brows were knitted. Suddenly he threw his arms in the air, "Fine. Yeah. Whatever. I'll do it."

Everyone cheered as Tasuki climbed to his feet. A charming smile resumed on his face, "Ok, guys, what do you wanna go next? Maybe we should split up so we can cover twice as much ground." The young man felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. He turned to see the calm face of Chichiri. "Yeah, what's wrong now?"

The monk shook his head, "Nothing is wrong, you know. But I don't think it's a good idea to split up."

"Why?"

Nuriko laughed and shook his head, "Because it is going to take all of us to keep you straight." 

A hurt look took over the redhead's face. He grimaced again. "I'm not that bad, sheesh."

An idea suddenly popped in to Miaka's head. She slammed a closed fist into her open palm. Why had she not thought of this before? It was perfect. "Back home when my brother had a problem with cursing my mother put out a swear jar. Every time my brother would slip he would have to put in a hundred yen into the jar."

The grimace on the boy's face became even deeper. "I don't know what a yen is but I do know that I don't like that idea." 

"Yeah, because the way you are you'd be broke by sundown," Nuriko chimed making Tamahome burst out into a fit of laughter. 

The sight of the two of them looking like a pair of giggling kids who had too much sugar was enough to make Tasuki snap. His face flushed red as he stomped on the ground, "I AM NOT THAT BAD, DAMMIT!" 

"And there's the first hundred yen!" bellowed Nuriko as tears began to stream down his face. Tamahome followed almost falling over from laughing so hard.

Miaka grabbed the two boys by their shirtsleeves, "Stop it, you guys aren't helping."

"Yes," said Chichiri as he pulled of his mask. His face underneath was serious and stern. No matter how many times he had revealed his true face in the past Tamahome and Nuriko took each new appearance in awe and silence. "We are trying to keep Tasuki calm. And you two are just making it worse, you know."

The two boys lowered their heads in guilt and apologized. 

Chichiri slipped his mask back on. "Now let us stick together because it is the best way to view this city, alright?"

Nuriko nodded his head. Tamahome sighed, "Alright."

Miaka grabbed the two boys' sleeves again making the two come closer to the group. "You know what they say _United we stand. Divided we fall._ Ok, I think we should go…(sniff, sniff) I think we should…(sniff, sniff)" The girl's body began to jerk to the right in an almost violent motion. And yet the girl did not look like she was in pain.

Chiriko was still startled. "Miaka?"

The girl opened her mouth and began to drool as her eyes glazed over; "I smell pork! Sweet and sour pork!" Her body began to pick up speed going down a side alley.

Everyone looked at each other. Tamahome shrugged his shoulders, "If there's one thing Miaka knows is how to find food."

"FOLLOW THAT DROOLING GIRL!" commanded Tasuki as he raced down the alley after the priestess.

End of Part One…..


End file.
